All Of Krusty's Old Opinions
It's April, so in a few weeks all you big-shot
college boys will be getting out for the summer. One word of advice, don't
try to smuggle out a thousand of those toilet paper rolls they give you
for free by swallowing them. Oy Gevalt! It'll give you gas like you wouldn't
believe!
You know, the Superbowl's next weekend, so
let me give you little advice... DON'T BET ON THE UNDERDOG! I don't
what kinda odds the maf...uh-heheheh.. I meant to say the odds KAF-ka,
that dead Russian writer, yeah that's it, gives you, always bet on the
favorite! Take that advice from your favorite clown, Krusty. Hoo-hoo-hahahah!
You know what holiday really gets to me? Thanksgiving!
What the hell is this all about? Paying tribute to a bunch of dead
guy who dressed up in those frilly white outfits and ate turkey? I don't
call that memorable, I call that something-I-might-do-if-I-was-drunk-enough.
If you're going to have a holiday for them, why don't you have one for
me too? Krusty day. July first. Kind of like a second New Years, except
there's no eggnog, no ball, and none of that old angsine crap. Just a bunch
of clowns drunk off their asses.
Chestnuts roasting on an open.... Oh sorry.
Hey, it's me, your favorite clown Krusty, huha huhuha! Well, that calandar
says October 1 which means only one thing to me. Nothing! I have no opinion
on that date, but I do want to say one thing about this month, October.
The end of it means another one of those Treehouse of Horror episodes
so all I'm saying is that if the writers don't include me this year,
boy is my agent is going to have something to say about that. I'm still
jilted after my minimal part in the Who Shot That Old Dude episode!
OY! That brisket ain't sitting right...
UUGGGH!! It's summer. And ya know what that
means. Roaches. Everywhere. Found one in my underpants the other day, gave
it to Mr. Teeny, God know what he did with it. Summer makes me sick. Especially
when you have to spend it on the highway picking up trash. Ta HELL with
community service!
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