All Of Krusty's Old Opinions

  • It's April, so in a few weeks all you big-shot college boys will be getting out for the summer. One word of advice, don't try to smuggle out a thousand of those toilet paper rolls they give you for free by swallowing them. Oy Gevalt! It'll give you gas like you wouldn't believe!
  • You know, the Superbowl's next weekend, so let me give you little advice... DON'T BET ON THE UNDERDOG! I don't what kinda odds the maf...uh-heheheh.. I meant to say the odds KAF-ka, that dead Russian writer, yeah that's it, gives you, always bet on the favorite! Take that advice from your favorite clown, Krusty. Hoo-hoo-hahahah!
  • You know what holiday really gets to me? Thanksgiving! What the hell is this all about? Paying tribute to a bunch of dead guy who dressed up in those frilly white outfits and ate turkey? I don't call that memorable, I call that something-I-might-do-if-I-was-drunk-enough. If you're going to have a holiday for them, why don't you have one for me too? Krusty day. July first. Kind of like a second New Years, except there's no eggnog, no ball, and none of that old angsine crap. Just a bunch of clowns drunk off their asses.

  • Chestnuts roasting on an open.... Oh sorry. Hey, it's me, your favorite clown Krusty, huha huhuha! Well, that calandar says October 1 which means only one thing to me. Nothing! I have no opinion on that date, but I do want to say one thing about this month, October. The end of it means another one of those Treehouse of Horror episodes so all I'm saying is that if the writers don't include me this year, boy is my agent is going to have something to say about that. I'm still jilted after my minimal part in the Who Shot That Old Dude episode! OY! That brisket ain't sitting right...
  • UUGGGH!! It's summer. And ya know what that means. Roaches. Everywhere. Found one in my underpants the other day, gave it to Mr. Teeny, God know what he did with it. Summer makes me sick. Especially when you have to spend it on the highway picking up trash. Ta HELL with community service!

    the preceding was written by "Sideshow" Mike of the Krusty the Clown Homepage.
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